The Final Blog from the 100 Films from 2011. 91-100!

So here we are. The End of another Year of Movies. Just Ten to Go. I would like to take this time to officially go over what exactly this blog is. If you are tired of reading that skip the next paragraph. If you want to read it. Who am I to tell you not to. If you would like to read my other blogs feel free to go over the Archives. Don't forget to check out the "Best for Brandon in 2011" section. It's where I will re-post the Fives and the really good Fours and then let you know my (insert off beat drum roll imagine a drum roll from a high school band, I couldn't afford a good drummer) BRANDON'S MOVIE OF THE YEAR!!!!! bum bum buuuuaaaauuuaaauum. (I couldn't afford for the kid to do both.) O.K. so there we go.

The Deal. I watch 100 movies a year. These movies are movies I haven't seen before. There is no real rhyme or reason behind which movies are chosen just that I haven't seen them before. Then after I watch said movies, I turn around and blog about them. Sometimes I go on rants that have absolutely nothing to do with anything, then I rate them. The rating scale is on a zero to five scale. If you are wondering which is better. Then the five is better. Zero in this case is not the hero. So 0=Oh My god it was not only bad it killed brain cells 1= it at least had a hot chick in it. 2= It had some redeeming quality's kind of like a burnt cookie, you don't really want to eat it, but you also can't throw it away, you can't just let it set there so you should just go ahead and eat it. Then you aren't exactly positive that was a good idea, but a burnt chocolate chip is still a chocolate chip. 3= Middle of the road, neither bad nor good. I don't necessarily recommend it, but i don't not recommend it either the movie is more or less esoteric. 4=Really quite good, it had a few things wrong along the way, but you should rent it at least. 5= what are you waiting for the mayo to yellow in your Tuna Salad get up and get going and watch this. So now that you know what the rating system is, I know what you are asking. Didn't your previous blogs rate from 1-5. My answer is yes. This was before I saw a few movies and realized, 1 just wasn't a low enough score for those piles of steaming crap finger nail clippings. So I added the zero.

DONT FORGET. If you suggest a movie to be rated, or you answer questions by emailing me I might have a gift waiting to be sent out. I'm not saying you are going to be happy with the gift. I'm not even saying it's worth your time, but you never know. Plus I don't think people are taking me serious on the whole subscribe to my blog thing. So how about doing that now. Why are you still reading you should be subscribing to my blog. Plus, if you Email me movies I have already watched I'll give them a quick hit rating. My Email is jslunchbox@yahoo.com. Email me your suggestions or quick hit ratings there. Don't be afraid to email them, I may be missing out on something amazing.

Speaking of quick hits. Here are a few from emails I have received.
The Punisher (2004) 5.
Boondock Saints (1999) 5.
Interview with a Vampire (1994)
Slither I haven't seen it.
Misery I haven't seen It
Overboard (1987) 4
The James Bond Films. I can't remember which ones I have seen I will get a list going and fit them in next year. I know I have seen quite a few but they do kind of blur together some were really good, some weren't. So I may have to re watch them to give an accurate rating, which I am not above doing.

So on to this Blog.

(91) The Amazing Screw on Head (2006)
This is from the genius behind Hellboy. The Comic won an Eisner Award and this is more of a collection of short films than a full feature. You can actually watch all of these on Youtube. It's a very quirky look at characters like Vampires, Abraham Lincoln and others. The amazing screw on head is a agent for Abraham Lincolns task force. It's pretty good. Speaking of Abraham Lincoln I am pretty pumped for Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter which will be coming out this summer. This was an animated feature, the animation had a distinct feel too it and it was done really well. It was a fun story, with fantastic one liners. I had not read the comic before but after watching the short film which it's running time is under a half an hour, I look forward to spending time with the comic. This world could be expanded on. I hope in the future we see more of this. I actually haven't done my homework, so there might be. This however do mainly to it length and it's inability to be one hundred percent coherent must loose at least one point. So therefore I give it a 4 out of 5.

(92) Your Highness (2010)
Anne and I watched this because I do have a fondness for Stoner movies, and after be sorely let down by Dazed and confused I wanted to find redemption. I thought Natalie Portman and James Franco could help me with this. They didn't It had great points it did, some of the awkward sexy moments with Portman weren't bad, Zooey Deschanel was great as a clueless horny virgin damsel in distress. I just don't like Danny Mcbrides Humor, It's a little to vulgar and childish. even for me, I am the one who laughed hysterically at a puppet turkey smoking a cigar comments on how big the girls boobs were. This was worse humor. The fight scenes weren't bad though. The overall plot was really bad, the lines that meant to be funny didn't carry. It wasn't funny, it wasn't good. It wasn't terrible, I mean Portman was good in this. Kind of. I can't say it's worth watching 2 out of 5.

(93) A Christmas Carol (2009)
This is one of my favorite most favorite Christmas stories, I really enjoy this story. Charles Dickens A Christmas Carol makes me cry almost every year. The redemption the character goes through is moving. I have seen so very many renditions of this and have wanted to see this for a long time. I can't watch Christmas movies outside of the season. It feel weird. So as Christmas came near. I geared up sit down with some Hot cocoa with the wife and we watched what Jim Carrey did with this. He did well. The animation I didn't care for, I don't enjoy this splotchy oily and clayish like animation. It just doesn't do it for me. The flying around was pretty good, It was super close to the Mickey's Christmas Carol. Which I don't mind. Not at all. I liked Mickey's Christmas Carol. The animation really bothered me. Plus it was a bit Jittery. Carrey was good. I liked his deliverance. This is however something that is special and would have to be done perfectly to surprise you. It wasn't perfect, mostly do to the animation. 3 out of 5.

(94) The Blind Side (2010)
For Christmas we went down to visit Many, Izzy and Beau and Ben. Ben loves to watch movies and that's what we do when the girls play catch up time and barbies with Izzy. So Ben put this in knowing I haven't seen it. Ben and I have a "guy you barely know" relationship and it's not exactly proper to cry in front of someone you have a relationship like that with. Thankfully Ben fell asleep, otherwise he would have saw me weeping like a scorned child. This movie was powerful. It was well acted. People delivered performances that I didn't know they had in them. Bullock was outstanding. McGraw of all people a guy who sings trashy Country songs and sappy Country songs delivers a solid performance, this guy actually has it. Weird. Kind of like when you see Rowdy Roddy Piper in a movie and Anne is like I like this actor he is really good who is he again. You laugh and remind her that it's a pro Wrestler. Quinton Aaron delivers a knock out performance. Jae Head and Lily Collins are amazing in this. Kathy Bates, Ray Mckinnen it just brought the best out of the people playing the roles. By the way this is a true story. Such a strong story. A real life Rags to Riches. The fact that the lady reaches out like that is unheard of. I'm tearing up thinking it over. I can't write about it anymore because if i do I'll cry again 5 out of 5

(95) The Black Death (2010)
Yes another Magnet film. Sorry if you hate them. You shouldn't by the way. Sean Bean is the man here. So many people along the way in this one. It's really quite well done. The story is perfectly diabolical. It takes place during the years of the Plague and they are Knights of god trying to find the Devil who they fear is behind the Plague, because this Plague is not of their God. It feels like a real life movie and not a supernatural movie at first then you get to the weird place and things go wicked down hill quick. Witches, Zombies, and uneasy executions. It had a wonderful plot. It did run long. The character development was good. The Violence brutal, the message amazing. It's never everyday you feel the spirit while watching a Horror movie. I don't think they meant to do it though, I think it's a weird coincidence. That's all. It's not exactly the best of all time when it comes to plague movies, but its a real close to getting a 5, but it does get a 4 out of 5.

(96) The Fog (1980)
This was a movie that I was not excited see. I was just in the mood for an older movie. About mid way through my attitude changed. It was perfectly intense. The special effects were a little goofy but it was 1980 and I can see how that would have been super scary in 1980, because I have to be honest it was kind of scary in general which lends it self to the actual movie. It was acted out well. Adrienne Barbeau and Jamie Lee Curtis Knock this movie out. It was well done on every level. Pacing was great. Story was really carried out well. The plot was great, people died, things went wrong when it was supposed to go wrong. I just really enjoyed this, it was perfect horror film. It was funny, it didn't take itself to seriously and it delivered on what it wanted to. The Screams hurt my ears and the nail biting was at an all time high. I normally don't like to just throw out 5's but when you can't find a single flaw and you were truly entertained and the movie gave you everything, what else can you do but give it a solid 5 out of 5.

(97) WWE: The Greatest Cage Matches of All Time (2011)
This was another Wrestling Documentary. Feel free to skip. I wish I did. I hate the people behind the WWE stuff they do such a piss poor job. I could do so much better. It's really badly done. Why do i keep watching them. It's just Shawn Michaels this Shawn Michaels that. This was no different. It did give you a really nice Ric Flair and Lex Lugar from the 80's with the Four Horseman and Sting. It didn't give you any of the massive war's in cages in WCW that they were famous for. Like the Three story cages. The two rings hooked together. with Teams coming in one at a time. they didn't give you any of that instead it was All WWF stuff. Not even there good stuff either. They just promoted their already famous stars. How can the best of all time take place between a three year period, I guess it can if you just want to showcase a select few wrestlers. 2 out of 5.

(98)Hot Tub Time Machine (2010)
I watched this by my self, I thought premise was absolutely ridiculous. This means I was excited. I thought i would really like it. It had its good points. Cusack was terrible. horribly awful, what has gotten into him. He had just started to suffer from suckanitus. He has been more than terrible in the four or five movies I have seen him in. For some reason I can't handle him anymore. He has just become too pretentious for me to understand why he still gets roles. Thinking back I liked him in like one film. Clark Duke was outstanding as well as Rob Corddry. Lyndsey Fonseca is growing on me as one of the sexiest people in movies I mean look at her in this and in Kick Ass I drool a little. She should be famous soon, she will have to get out of crap movies like this. The plot was fun. Chase was wonderful. the girls and the attention to detail about how people dressed and acted. The movie was way to long and too complicated for it to be any good. The acting was terrible. The plot wasn't carried out the way I hoped. Chevy Chase an up and coming actor, and one hottie can't make this turd into gold. 2 out of 5.

(99) Aeon Flux (2005)
Ok, let me start by saying I watched the animation stuff on MtV back in the day. So in preparation for this movie I watched the entire series so that I could catch all the whimsical nods to the program. That being said I am an Aeon Flux fan. I am not a fan of this movie. Much like I give automatic points to movies with Ashton Kutcher, Gerard Butler, Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis, Nathan Fillion and others I take away a point for Charlize Theron. OH MY GOD. What is wrong with America. The Media says someone is attractive and everyone jumps on board. Ok, I'll give you the tall slender body part, but have you ever noticed how she has a weird pudginess around her back muscles and a really terrible backside, her backside is actually a back slide, because it looks like her back slide into where her butt is supposed to be. She isn't sexy people. She's not. Her nose looks like she got punched in the face too much as a child, it's like pink nose on a cat, it's freaking gross. Her lips are always pushed too hard together like she is trying to cover up something OH YEAH her teeth, they look worse that a chain saw chain drug through metal clippings of robot hearts as they break watching her movies where she is supposed to be believable in, but since she is so horrible the robots can't handle it and their hearts break. Lets not get into her High as crap cheek bones. She looks like someone honestly hit her in the face with a shovel. Her nose got broke and her cheeks swelled up. With all the sexy babes out there, why are we still wasting our time on this AWFUL looking bad horror film of an actress. So Aeon Flux loses a point for using her. Plus Aeon is supposed to be boney. Not sexy. Which Trust me Theron couldn't pull off sexy in a porno. She hasn't been boney since she grew her skeleton in the womb either. She was terrible as Flux on every level. The nods to the original series and Johnny Lee Miller's performance are the only thing that gains this the two points it deserves. Let it be noted that it could have had a 3 if it didn't have Theron in it. I'll give it to Theron, She isn't as ugly as Cameron Diaz. I have seen sexier Zombies than those two broads. 2 out of 5.

(100) The Help (2011)
I was excited to see this because Anne had said such good things about the book. I after watching this, read the book and liked it just as much as the movie. Btw Auto Point notice 1 point for Emma Stone. She however did not stand out as the best of the movie. Jessica Chastain however did. She played Cecila Foote. She stole the show for me. So perky and perfect for the part. It was really fun. If you haven't read the book or seen the movie. Do it. Viola Davis was amazing in this as well. The way she presented the Aibileen character astonished me. It was just perfect in every way. The Actresses in this was outstanding. Bryce Dallas Howard Nailed Hilly. The Drunken slur of a mess she becomes and the Pie. OH my lord the Pie. Octavia Spencer was just mind blowing funny and her attitude she spit out in the face of the camera. It was a great movie. I laughed so hard I cried. Then I pooted. It was seriously that good. Allison Janney was so very very good. Her ranting and sadness she did well. It was one of the best times I have had with the movies. I like to end my year on a high note and this was a high note. 5 out of 5.


Don't forget to check back for the Brandon's movie of the year Blog. Plus, seriously I need you to do me a favor and subscribe and comment. It's not hard take the minute. for me. your lowly blogger. NOW.