Friday, April 1, 2016

A Pre-Wrestlemania Look at Wrestlemania 32

Here we are. The Road to Wrestlemania has almost come to an end. We are getting off the final exit  tonight with NXT Takeover Dallas and will get some snacks on Saturday. Stop for a quick piss and boom we will have arrived at Wrestlemania 32. Not a whole hell of a lot to look forward too on Sunday or even tonight If I'm being honest. Lets take a dive into the biggest event of the year and talk about where it excels and where it doesn't.

Lets address a few Elephants in the room that you might not even realize are there. AKA the Injury Report. That's right a huge long list of Injuries have Crippled this years Wrestlemania and may have officially buried a few gimmicks. Lets talk about who of note isn't on the Card.

Daniel Bryan- Retired, We lost him this past year. Why is this a big deal? Mainly because WWE hasn't bothered to replace him with a Natural developed talent. How could this be? Could WWE have thrown out the Fan Favorite feeling for this year. Well, over the last few years a few people have become the fan favorite despite the WWE's large scale assault on our screens. I will say that they may have a few of them on their hands on the card. A few that Immediately come to mind are Ziggler, Ryder, Styles, and Ambrose. However, the Naturally grown fan favorite like Bryan and Punk is notably missing from WWE altogether.

John Cena- The main man. Like him or hate him. He has been WWE for the past who really knows how many years. He doesn't always deliver, as a matter of fact for the most part I can't stand his matches. Not even the Rock can make him watchable as a whole. I will say the feud last year with Owens was his best work in years, even with all of the botched moves. Regardless if you buy into his multi colored profit driven slogan bullshit, He is a notable face that isn't booked because of injury. He is ready willing and... GABLE, but not on the card. Could we see that massive Heel Turn we have all been waiting for? Could this weekend become the weekend that lives forever as the day Hustle Loyalty and respect became FUCK YOU WWE, I'm John Cena and I do what I want when I want. I doubt we will ever see it, much less this weekend.

Cesaro- Injury. Status kind of unknown. The Big rumor is that he has been cleared and may show up in the Battle Royal. However, it's doubtful. Could I be wrong by stating that "we will not see Cesaro in competition this weekend" I don't think I am. This guy is possibly the most notable blunder by WWE's blind to the fan booking over the past year. People love this guy. I really like to see hit feats of strength and his antics in the ring are priceless. He has character, too bad WWE officials don't see it. Could Cesaro be the next Fan Favorite WWE be damned. Yes, he could. Will he. Debatable. I doubt we see him this weekend. I want too, I just don't think we will.

Seth Rollins- Injured. He will be at Wrestlemania. Crowd serving for the most part I'm sure, but there are videos of him working out and being physical. He can move around now. Could we see a face turn from Rollins soon. What if Lesner is beating the absolute dog crap out of Ambrose and we see Rollins interfere for the save, What if we see Rollins keep Reigns from the title, Rollins could show up anywhere and make a large impact. However, I don't think you're going to see Rollins at all. It would be a grand surprise to have him interfere in the Shane McMahon Match and become Shanes right hand man. It's possible, not likely.

Randy Orton- Injured. He might be possibly retiring soon. I can see it in his face. He has lost the luster for the business and consistently being buried in the card behind the new guys and Cena over the years has killed him. He is one of the best and just doesn't get what he deserves for the most part. He has become and internet phenomenon which is great. Ultimately, I don't think you're going to see him show up until after Wrestlemania. Orton could show up in a supportive interfere roll in any of the matches that a interference is what it needs to move forward. HHH and Orton have the history for his appearance to make sense. Also, A good feud could come out of him attacking the undertaker for Shane McMahon especially with Randy's issues with Stephanie and Hunter when we last saw him.



The Wyatt Family- Here is the one I was talking about being Gimmick Burring. I realize Bray Wyatt and Luke Harper are both on the injured list which is why they didn't give you a gimmick for Wrestlemania. Also, why Bray didn't get in the ring with Brock at Roadblock. However, Why no Braun and Eric Rowan match. I guess you could still seem them hobble out for the battle Royal, but what exactly would be the fucking point character wise. How would the Wyatt family tote around the Andre the Giant memorial battle royal trophy and use it to grow the gimmick. OK, loosing Harper the most interesting and charismatic in the ring was a blow, but they could have forced the issue in some way. Why would WWE leave out there most fierce-some force? Well, I guess they could interfere somewhere along the line. But where? Fuck another Wyatt vs Undertaker, Reigns, Ambrose, Jericho attempt. You know where they need to put the Wyatt family? Wyatts vs. League of Nations. That would make them both relevant again. It would have been way better than the New day vs. the League of Nations which isn't going to get carried anywhere. What a waste of the New Day's talent.

 Now that I've approached that subject matter. Lets talk about what is going to happen at Wrestlemania.

I don't know the order, So I'm going to wing this.


AJ Styles Vs. Chris Jericho. Does anyone even have any clue of how well Chris Jericho is doing with this? Man this guy continues to impress. He can have the crowd absolutely cheering his name and treating him like Royalty one minute and then having them at his throat the next. He is an amazing performer and one of the best Professional Wrestling has ever seen. Think the exact opposite of the Big Show in every way. He is putting over AJ Styles like a champ. This match may being Macho Man vs. Ricky Steamboat good. I think we are about to see Styles fly through to the top of the approval rating and this time next year I think we may have the best Wrestlemania match for the belt of ALL TIME!!! AJ Styles vs. Seth Rollins for the WWE title. I'm salivating at the thought of that match. This match this year, it could be the show stopper. AJ Styles with the exception of Kevin Owens; has been the only wrestler in years the WWE has brought in and done the right thing with. Keep your eye on this one, because its going to be good. Unlike the majority of the rest of the matches. Prediction: Jericho puts over Styles. Winner AJ Styles.


Seven Man Ladder Match for the Intercontinental Title. What? We could find one more guy to round out the match? Anyway, This is the second match to actually watch. Sami Zayn, Dolph Ziggler, Kevin Owens and Sin Cara are GUARANTEED to Deliver. The Miz is going to have his high spots and say what you want about this guys character in the ring he is not afraid to take a hard bump. You may see him seemingly crash and burn this match. He will give you your money's worth. Zack Ryder, I adore you bro, but you're not fooling anyone. The only reason you're not here is because Neville is hurt. However, Zach will do everything in his power to make other look good. He is a great Jobber and will take some bumps to make the others shine. He will do his part. Cody will show up and amaze as always. It's only a matter of time until Stardust disappears and Cody comes back. I think the story here is going to be an Explosive Rivalry between Zayn and Owens that is going to be heart stopping and neither of them are going to hold back. We are going to see some dangerous show stopping stunts by these two and someone is probably going to pick up the pieces. Prediction: Zayn and Owens battle non stop and Someone else takes advantage of this and we have a new champion. Winner: Dolph Ziggler

Team Total Divas Vs. Team B.A.D and Blonde. AKA something for the perves to slobber over. WWE has officially slaughtered the Divas Revolution. Sure Paige getting hurt didn't help the momentum, because she is one of the main ones that can run the show. Ok, lets breakdown whats going to happen here. Well, what I think will happen. First off. This won't last long. The Entrances to the ring will last longer than the match. You will see Team Total Divas win. This match makes ZERO continuity sense whatsoever. Why? is the Anti-Diva Paige even here. This is exactly the match she has spoken out against and fought against her entire life and boom. Here it is. This match is way more about Clevage and possible nip slips and tight bums than it is actual performances. Thats sad too. Why? because several of these ladies can absolutely BRING IT in the ring. I've seen it in NXT. Emma, Paige, Natalya, and Brie can Deliver. They won't though. I've seen Summer Rae and Eva Marie Deliver in the ring as well so we might see a nice tangle with one of these involved. Tamina, Alicia Fox, and Naomi need to be released they bring NOTHING to the table. NO ONE CARES about any of them. Oh and lets not forget Lana is all of a sudden a wrestler. I've seen more pointless shit in my day, but not really. I'm super disappointed in this match. This would have been better delivered as a tag match. Emma and Paige vs. Brie and Natty. Bring Summer out with Tyler at the battle royal, Keep Lana with Rusev, Give Eva Marie a shot later, and just straight up fire the rest. Prediction: Cluster of scantly clad women pulling on each others cloths until someone gets pinned, quick and simple. Winner: Team Total Diva

The New Day vs. The League of Nations- Waste of Rusev's star power and The New Day in General. I hate having Rusev in the League of Nations what a waste of talent. The New day needed someone they could banter against. The Social Outcast would have been a better draw than the League. I've never seen a faction so GODDAMN boring. The New Day will bring it, It's the biggest stage, but they may actually end up loosing the belts to be pushed in other directions for better feuds. We might even see the debut of a fourth member to even the odds. I doubt that though. It could also be the inevitable Explosion of the League. We might see a huge fight erupt between members to cause a good fatal four way in a few months. Prediction: Del Rio kicks Sheamus in the face or Vice Versa. Winnner: The New Day

Kalisto vs. Ryback- This is probably going to be the worst match on the card. Normally, a big guy little guy match isn't such a bad move. Kalisto, who is entertaining and easy to get behind isn't going to be able to carry this match from start to finish, especially with the block head that is Ryback. He is awful in the ring, and isn't going to be able to mesh his style with Kalisto in order to pull off a good match. Watching Ryback take a Hurricanrana is like watching brick being thrown at a window and expecting it not to break. Why did anyone in creative think this was a good idea. I guess it will serve as a good point to go take a shit. It will smell better than this match will look. Prediction: Ryback gets injured and the have to quick finish Winner: Kalisto

The Usos vs. The Dudley Boys- One Question? why is this even here? you don't know either? I'm going to go ahead and put the Dudley boys in the same space as The Big Show, Mark Henry, etc. Go home. The Nostalgic fun has ended, why are they still on the roster full time. I mean the occasional show up would be fun. I've been known in my past to yell right along with the crowd "Get the Tables!!!!" So seeing the Dudleys on occasion is a lot of fun. The Uso's, never liked them, never will. They are not exciting, they are like a tag team of what Reigns is in a single match. They are a few trick ponies. Where Reigns can't do anything but throw superman punches and spears the Usos can't do anything but splashes and superkicks. Crappy ones at that. This match won't deliver we will see semi high spots but expect a lot of the same. Prediction: No one will give two shits what happens until we see the 3D. Winners: The Dudleys.

The Andre the Giant Battle Royal- AKA, we have nothing for you so go jump in the ring and get thrown out by someone who will get really pissed off if we don't showcase them again.
Prediction: A few surprises which will make this watchable. Winner: Somebody who should have retire years ago, Seriously why are the Attitude era guys still wrestling. I'm looking at you Big Show, Henry, Kane, HHH, Dudleys, etc. Get off the tracks and let someone else shine. Go sale some shirts on http://www.prowrestlingtees.com and get off my Television. We will probably see some really fun comedy spots, but not too many because they won't have a lot of time dedicated to this match. I can see some good quality fun brought to you via the Social outcasts and we will get to see some talents that are normally house show talents. Fandango, Sandow, Young and the Ascension will have a chance to shine. Plus, we might get a few surprises. Maybe a debut of a secret talent. Maybe a legend will appear I'll put money on a NXT talent showing up. I'm guessing a lot of people will get there first look at Baron Corbin.


Triple Threat Match for the Divas Title. AKA lets continue to push the no talent Divas revolution killer, but its cool because her dad bring star power. We've seen it. We've seen it, it doesn't matter who cares. I even posted a picture of Ric here, because WWE doesn't care about the Divas title. If they did it wouldn't be called the Divas title, it would be called the Womens championship and Charlotte wouldn't be holding it.  Prediction: Charlotte retains again, but it's cool because her dads there. Revolution snuffed out. Congrats WWE.


Brock Lesner Vs. Dean Ambrose. This could be amazing or it could be a complete flop. I don't think your going to find an in between. I'm a little nervous going in. Lesner isn't known for his restraint and anything could happen when you start introducing objects into the situation. One thing is for sure, we will see Lesner bleed. I mean this guy always bleeds. Thin skin for sure. These guys both always at least put forth an effort. So here's what I mean by no middle ground. It's all about time. How much time are they going to give these guys. If it starts moving to the back or deep into the crowd we're going to get our $9.99 worth. If this stays in the ring, I think it might under achieve. If we see Ambrose take 25 suplexs and just get dominated, its wasted. If we see Ambrose knock out Lesner with a 2x4 or a crowbar its wasted. We need to see a nice balance, maybe a suplex off the stage. Lots of chair shots. Some hardcore spots. I'm think thumbtacks could be nice. Lesner isn't scared to do those spots and we know Ambrose will do it. If we see a nice balanced match without it feeling rushed, we might be very happy with how this goes. If we don't and it's a squash match. A lot of people including myself will be super unhappy. This could downright suck. Prediction: Lots of Lesner blood, Ambrose will make Lesner his Ally through respect. Winner: Lesner

Shane McMahon Vs. The Undertaker. Ok, I have no idea what is happening here. Of all of the people that could take on Taker at Wrestlemania they went with Shane. Is it exciting? A little but not really? Hell in a Cell, getting kind of old. Listen, the undertaker matches are getting worse and worse. Shane honestly has never disappointed. I remember back in the day when he fought Kurt Angle and he took bump after bump after bump against the glass wall until finally they started breaking the right ones. It was border line scary. So Shane has my respect. He has pulled of the Van Terminator more than Van Dam has in WWE. This match is going to have a bad finish. The story line will not allow for it to finish clean. How they do is a mystery. Rumors have just flooded every single sight. I won't repeat them, but they all suck if you ask me. This is a loose loose for the fans. A loss for Shane o Mac means no change in the WWE like he is promising. A loss by the Undertaker means a slap in the face to the fans who have cheered the streak all of these years. Prediction: I'm Coping out overall but I guarantee unhappiness unless the undertaker takes a loss to screw Vince, which isn't in his character. Winner: Not the fans.

HHH Vs. Reigns- This was a bad Idea from the get go. I wish they would have shaken it up by letting HHH drop the title to Ambrose at Roadblock. I think this might be as straight forward as you could ever expect. Each guy gets his knocks in and Reigns Spears for the Win. However, we could have a dirty finish here, which is the only way it ends with HHH keeping the title. It could be HHH getting screwed out of the title. This is going to be the worst Main Event of Wrestlemania History. Prediction: This is why the Rock is at Wrestlemania I just dont know who he is going to attack. The Rock is the only way this ends well. Maybe Rollins. Maybe Cena. Winner: Reigns.




Takeover notes. Actually watching it while finishing this up. Austin Aries had a lack luster Debut. Corey Graves is the future of announcing in the WWE. Good matches overall. NXT continues to better than the main roster. I'm enjoying the Japanese Flair we are getting from NXT.