24 days into this fast.

Well, It has been a sweet 24 days. Since my last post and thanks to my mother I have now tried the Veggie Burgers that normal vegetarians eat. They are Ok. Nothing to scream about but nothing to spit out either, I would buy them again. I have had few cravings mostly over Bacon. Which is Surprising because I don't eat all that much Bacon anyway. Chocolate has been giving me the evil eye, Much like someone you used to hang out with gives you when you pass them by with the new person you hang out with. I have traded Chocolate in for sunflower seeds. Which are not good for you in the quantities I have eaten them, So I am traded them in for something more rewarding like Fruit. I don't know really.

What I do know is that nobody actually reads this crap and It's a huge waste of my time. I am Pretty Much a 30 Year Old Loser. I have done absolutely Nothing with my life and don't have any plans to do anything. I just want to get back to how it used to be. No TV, No Video Games No computer. Nothing. Just the wind, Rain and the occasional 8 hours working with Other Losers who think they are too good to be where they are where in reality They Suck Worse than me and I am exactly Where I should be. Sucking with the rest of the Low life Scum who do nothing but bitch and complain and blame everyone else for their problems. Well, I feel like doing that too. You know who is responsible for my failures and my hardships? I'll tell you who. Me. That's right I don't blame THE MAN for my Issues I don't BLAME my color, or the Police, or some random person. I don't blame my parents, My Spouse my Ex Girlfriends I don't even Blame God. My failing come from one place. Me. I suck. I don't do what i need to do and I fail at this game called life because of it. Not like anyone gives a good gosh damn. So whatever.

The Fast Day 19!!

Ok in order to understand my fast just look back at my blogs, It is the Day 5 blog that explains the fast, I don't want to be repetitive.

basically, I am not eating Animal products for a full month. This is not in protest, it's in prayer.

To say this is challenging is to say that stumping your toe on running Chainsaw stings a little.

It may not be a big deal to people who regularly enjoy a nice side dish of salad for their main course, but for someone like myself it's not that easy. I eat somewhat like Homer Simpson, I enjoy my baked goods, I enjoy my hamburger's, my chicken sandwiches and I love fish. I can't even have a decent burrito on this diet. It's pretty hard. However, I am actually having a little fun with it. I does make me feel like a jerk sometimes though. I have always been that kind of person that will just eat anything even if it's screwed up. I have sent back more in the past 19 days than I have in my entire life, even as a kid if it had bad things on it I would just eat it. Do mostly to my Uncle Kevin Jumping down my throat when I was like 4 in McDonald's because I told him I didn't like onions on my cheeseburger. I mean who Yells at a four year old over onions, Mom usually just scrapped them off and made sure to get most of them, and then I would be fine. After this incident I always just eat whatever is put in front of me, Wow that was therapeutic, I need to see a shrink for stuff like this. So basically it's been hurtful to take things back, to me it feels like saying it's just not good enough. With this diet, it has to be right or I can't eat it.

I had to wait on the manager to make me food at Bojangles because they pre made all of the salads and put cheese on them all and they weren't supposed to have cheese. I think this pissed him off, not at me, That should be made clear, but that his employees screwed up the salads. Their honey mustard Dressing, I can't eat. I did get their beans, they said there was no pig fat or anything in them, I put them on the salad it was tasty. Mexican food is amazing for this Diet all you have to do is ask for no cheese and boom, perfectly edible food for this Diet. (Diet in the sense of an eating style and not i am going to loose weight)

moving on the weight, I don't think I'm loosing anything, I don't care either so no big deal there.

I didn't get any cravings until yesterday, I am officially fighting the cravings now, I really could go for a sandwich. I however haven't gone to the Tofu dogs or anything yet. I will prob try them.

The Fast Track!!! Day 11

Well, now that I have let everyone know what exactly I was doing with my fast. Now that It is Day 11. I have lots of good news for you!!!

I haven't slipped up however, I have realized It's really hard to go out and eat places, I have had to send lot's of plates back, because on the menu It will read out that there is no animal products in them, but you get it and the cook has felt bad that you took off the meat or something and tried to compensate so you can get your money's worth by putting cheese or bacon bits on the salad, This bother's me, but I understand the reasoning behind it.

Another thing that is awesome is I knew I could drink Soy milk, but most cereal's don't contain milk or egg product in them. Also, my wife looking out for me found out by just checking that Oreo doesn't have milk or egg either, It's all oil and vegetable and coco, not milk. So, I ate some Oreo just to have some taste buds light up, I also have had lots of wraps and a few burritos from Taco Bell,(you have to specify no cheese or meat) It's pretty sweet, I don't think I'll have a problem getting through this, Sometimes however I see someone having a Hamburger or Hot dog or a Steak and I want some, Same with Chicken and Fish, I feel like I could have a nice Juicy plate of Wings right now, with some Pizza, but I will as soon as my fast is over.

My Good Buddy Crispy Posted This Video and this Link. Please Go here and Vote for him as soon as possible!!!http://tylercrisp.mitchumhardestworking.com/

My Fast Tracker: Post 1 Day 5.

For those of you who don't know I am taking on a heavy fast. I want to put a disclosure here upfront and at the beginning so there is no mistake. (This is not a protest, It's a personal Prayer and fast.)

This fast is because of the Oil Spill in the Gulf. BP will go down as the company with the worst Oil Spill in History, I am protesting BP and not buying anything from them, not even a coke, but this is about the fast only.I am distraught over this Oil Spill, Every time I read an article about it online, or watch news coverage of it I honestly Feel like I am about to Vomit, Even Comedy Spiffs make me Vomit a little, It's the most depressing thing I have ever seen. BP is Killing the Earth. America and it's leader's is largely just standing back and saying OH WELL. IT HAPPENS. I'm not saying they haven't done anything but Enough isn't being done. If enough was being done It would have stopped and already cleaned up. I refuse to believe with all of the worlds resources that we are doing everything, Someone who has the right resources needs to step up, If they need me to do something I will My phone number is on my Facebook page, I'll do anything asked of me, however I don't know what to do, Oil container's are not what I know, Someone does know Oil container's though. I honestly do Think BP is doing all they can to help with the situation, but It's still not enough. Why isn't something done already. Why hasn't our leaders Made the people who do know what to do come up with anything, enough pressure isn't applied in the right place, because if it were It would be taken care of. Enough isn't being done. Not only that, but every time something bad happens in other countries we come running to Aid them, So far, not a single country has come to Aid this catastrophe. I am fasting, hoping, and praying that something will happen for the positive to help this horrific Environmental slaughter.
America and it's Oil company's are Killing the world, first in Oil Wars now in the Gulf, Whats next!? It's getting worse. There is nothing I can individually do. I am helpless.I don't have millions of dollars to donate to help, I don't even have 100.00 that I can comfortably donate, The Picketing and Protest are about as effective as a one legged man in a butt kicking contest. All I can do is Pray. One form of constant Prayer is fasting. Now obviously I can't not eat for a whole month. That isn't humanly possible. However, I can refrain from Animal products for a whole month. This means no meat, no dairy, no eggs etc. etc. etc. This is a real big deal for me because typically I eat tons of chicken and fish, and lots of eggs and I love Milk. So this is a large sacrifice for me. I feel that fasting and prayer is all that I can do. It's personal, it isn't to impress anyone, I'm married so I don't care what anyone thinks, well other than Anne. I am doing this for myself and Our Earth.

So from the Title you know I am on Day 5. The first few days have been hard, I have had light cravings but nothing significant. The main reason they are hard is because I didn't realize how much stuff has animal products in them. HOLY CRAP!!!
I have had a few slip ups, just not knowing about it or just not thinking it through. The slip up's are as followed. Anne and I went to the grocery store, OH wow, late night Taco Doritos's I bet they are good, however, Doritos's uses real cheese, we didn't check that fact until I ate about five. I'm not restarting the fast, Mistakes happen, I just didn't even think about cheese in powder form as being real actual cheese. (If it really is real) So I obviously stopped eating them, A similar thing happened later on that very day, (this was day 2) I grabbed a handful of pop corn that was microwaved, It had butter on it, I didn't know until it hit my taste buds, I stopped eating it. So other than Popcorn and Doritos's I haven't slipped up, It is only Day 5.

I went to Lunch with Anne today. We Went to Ruby Tuesday's. Not a single thing on the menu excludes animal products, It either has eggs, meat, or cheese. EVERYTHING. I ended up with the salad bar, which only had one dressing other than Oils and Vinegars that didn't contain Mayo or Cheese. Their Vinaigrette has Parmesan cheese in it. So even eating Salads away from home is tough. However, I had snap peas which were cooked in Margarine and that was good, I have to look up margarine to see what's in it I may have screwed up.

Little did I know, but I am a chocoholic, and like the only thing I can have is dark Chocolate and Chocolate Soymilk, which I love anyway. No Reese's Peanut butter cups or candy bars or ice cream and fudge. I Still have my coke and sunflower seeds, which are a staple in life for me. But don't mix them.

I can only have like two things at work. Salad with Rasp Vinaigrette or French Fries. I Love the Fries there. I thought about the fried mushrooms, but they are battered with Egg. No bread because there is egg in it all, except Genesis bread which we buy anyway.

So day five, I'm not really feeling the effects too much so far, I don't exactly eat horribly, So I am just falling back on great basic's like this stuff Anne makes with Basil, Tomato and Yellow Peppers SO GOOD!!!!!! I had a bit of laugh over a Reuben the other day, Anne and I were talking about me going to Bath County on Friday, and I said I will go by Rubino's for a Reuben, and She said no you can't, And I was like yes I can I'll just ask them to take away the cheese, corned beef, and Rye bread, I'll have a plate of Sauerkraut and 1000 Island dressing please, Yucky, I can't even have the 1000 Island because of the Mayo.

I will Post every five days to keep you guys informed. Who am I kidding, that won't happen. We as Humans have a responsibility to this Earth. We as Human's are not living up to that responsibility, I don't do as good a job as some people, But I will continue to try. Please Help, Recycle, Reduce waste, and don't support Companies who take the worst Oil Spill in Human History lightly.



To end on a light note. http://www.youtube.com/user/BPplc?v=KKcrDaiGE2s&feature=pyv&ad=5953529293&kw=spill

Well..... That didn't work..... My trek for inner peace.

As stated in my last blog. I am going through some turmoil. I don't sleep very regularly. I don't eat healthy. I don't get near enough exercise. I remember a time when I had found peace. The kind of calm that washed over you constantly. You could feel the warmth of the sun, but not the heat. The coolness of the ocean, but not the crash of the waves. I lost that. I miss that. I have worked around, been involved with, and produced some much negative energy that my own positive aura has been knocked off course. This needs to be remedied. I am tired of people saying, you need to do this you need to accomplish that. You..... Is a Word that I do not want to hear. From now on I am going to work towards my Inner Peace. This of course is going to take several steps. However, I will do it my way.

I am currently reading "Sirens of Titan" by Kurt Vonnegut. This is a book my friend Cody suggested that I read. I have to be honest, I have not finished it, I am not really that far into it. Mostly because I have too much going on and can't focus. So why am I even mentioning this book.

I have been thinking a lot lately about myself and how I haven't been making myself much of a priority, and how this should change. I was reading the book and it explained a simple remedy to the Stock Market and how simple it was and yet how effective. I thought to myself, Simplicity is Divine. However, there are lots of things I want to get done. For instance my main goals in life.

So with Simplicity in mind, and the advice I shared with you all in my last blog, I am setting out to obtain my inner peace that I once owned. After many years of looking out for everyone else, I am going to be a little selfish and look out for me for a little while. This of course doesn't mean I will stop being reliable and stop looking out for people and helping where I can, because helping is what I do best. It just means some inner reflection is needed.

I have tried all sorts of that inner peace stuff, Meditation, Yoga, exercise beyond your abilities, Music, Therapy, books on such and so and this and whats. Nothing worked for me. How ever I think there are four key elements to peace, just like four key elements to our Earth. Yes, I know this is branching From Avatar the last Airbender, but if you can't take a lesson from Aang then you can't gain a lesson from anyone. This was also in several key books I read, and In meditation techniques.

The four elements are Earth, Fire, Wind, and Water. Each has four key elements to itself that focus on a humans four keys elements. Humans four key elements are: Physical, Spiritual, Emotional, and intellectual. So in order to get an All around inner peace you have to Focus from the ground up.

Earth comes first. It's Four Key Elements that relate to the Human Key Elements are as follows. Strength=Physical, Work/acts=Spiritual, Will=Emotional, Perception=intellectual.

Water comes next. Flexibility=Physical, Faith=Spiritual, Love=Emotional, Artistic=intellectual.

Fire. durability=Physical, Allegiance=Spiritual, Anger=Emotional, Logic=Intellectual.

Finally Wind/Air= Speed=Physical, knowledge=spiritual, Hope=Emotional, ingenuity=intellectual.

basically with earth you focus on your actual strength your muscles, Tone, and size are both needed to gain strength. for your spiritual world you need to start showing change in what you do for yourself and for others. You change the way you act to become more spiritual, for will you have to have a little self worth and confidence. the I can do this no matter what take on life, and for perception you basically just have to pay attention to what is going on to gain knowledge.

With Water you have to work on your flexibility, stretching, Yoga, light contact sports all do this. Love necessarily doesn't mean finding that certain someone, but it does mean showing care for someone else. do this however you see fit. It can be as simple as getting attached to a Television program and crying when something terrible happens, even a video game, anything really that can pull on the heart strings, basically you have to feel for something open up that clogged drain of feeling. Artistic doesn't have to be with paint and a canvas, you could write, you could doodle, you could build something useful, or something not useful at all. Just express yourself. Faith is basically belief, just find faith in something. I don't want to talk religion, but it's what most people bank on. you can believe in the chaos if you want just believe in something and put faith that it is real.

Fire is the Hardest overall. Durability, This means Heart rate and things of that nature and your overall pain threshold. basically this means running, and getting beat up. Don't go pick a fight, just go out there and get physical push yourself over the edge once daily. Allegiance is simply a follow up on faith. Stay true to what you believe and follow it. do what you have to do in order to spread the word of what you believe, just don't be overbearing nobody likes that. Anger and Fear are close together here, you need to let go, this is where the hard part is. Did you dad smack you around, let it go, is life unfair, do you hate it, well nobody cares so you shouldn't either. just let it go. Logic is next. Think things through. everything from when to go to the bathroom and when to sleep all the way to what stock to buy and what book to read.

Wind is next, Speed will build naturally if you tackle the others, you will be able to run that 3 miles in less time the more you run it. You're only competing with yourself, I mean you can get into it if you want, but don't out there and hop on a bike and think, I'm going to Kick Lance's butt, because your not going to. It's not that you can't, It's just that you prob shouldn't because He has lawyers. Knowledge, Gain it, but just what you want to know, who cares if this guy can quote Aristotle, I can quote Dick Grayson and Obi Wan Kenobi. Hope will give you the ultimate release it will give you that positive outlook and let you know. All is Well, (thank you DC comics.) With Ingenuity comes Progress within yourself, once you become ultimately creative you will think of ways to put that creativity to use and produce an outcome.

Well, Just remember that I am setting out to accomplish this. Creativity, will flourish. I will strive for a Sound Body and Mind while keeping a Broken heart and Contrite Spirit. I promise from here on out to spend 20 minutes a day with myself and nothing else. Just checking on me to make sure I am Ok. I am just writing this blog to express myself, If you read this, It's all a bunch of phooey, but I guess it's helpful.

Aquaman.